There comes a moment when you realize: not every path we pour our energy and focus into is meant to lead you where you expected. Sometimes, what once felt right no longer fits. That doesn’t mean the journey was wasted; it means that it is time to choose a new direction.
In July, I found myself in that moment. Things weren’t going according to plan, and of course, I started resisting. Instead of accepting that a new path might need to be forged, I tried to force the old one to work.
Back in 2021, I published my first workbook with the dream of developing a mental health curriculum for schools one day. For the past four years, I poured countless hours into pushing, pitching, and hoping someone would give me a chance. This year, it finally started happening. I found myself in aligned conversations with Departments of Education and Children & Families across multiple states.
I had just graduated with my master's in psychology and believed I had my future figured out. The doors were opening, the money and resources were finally in place, and mental health was starting to be recognized as a priority in education.
Then, almost overnight, everything shifted. Legislative changes altered regulations around grant funding originally intended for mental health. Within weeks, four potential contracts dissolved. Just like that, the door I had worked tirelessly to open slammed shut.
And I had two choices:
Keep slamming my head against the same wall, hoping it reopens.
Pivot.
Therapeutically speaking, we often resist change not because we don’t want better, but because we’ve tied our identity, purpose, or success to a particular outcome. Psychologists call it cognitive rigidity. This is our brain’s tendency to cling to familiar strategies, even when they’re no longer working. We keep going according to what we’ve done before, not because it serves us, but because stopping feels like giving up. Changing courses can feel too uncertain and too much like starting over, and choosing something new means admitting that what we tried might not work. And sometimes, when things don’t work out, we internalize it and blame ourselves. Our brain may even refer to ourselves as a “failure.”
So, what do we do when the thing that once made sense no longer works?
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with that question. Trying to quiet the voice in my head that’s afraid to admit things are not working, just because I tried so hard to make them work. I’m learning that moving forward sometimes means letting go of control over the outcome. The only certainty is the uncertainty ahead. Maybe that’s not a bad thing if we learn to accept instead of resist.
Changing direction isn’t failure. Pivoting is flexibility. And in the face of change, flexibility is how we grow into the next version of ourselves.
The classic book Who Moved My Cheese? by Dr. Spencer Johnson illustrates the concept of pivoting perfectly. It is a story about four characters navigating change in a maze as they search for cheese. When the cheese (goal, plan, and dream) moves, each character responds differently. Some of the characters adapt right away and venture out to find where it went, while others stay stuck in the same spot, clinging to what used to be.
My dad has gifted me this book multiple times throughout my life, especially when I’m overwhelmed by change. It’s his way of reminding me that while I may not control what disappears, I do control how I respond. The cheese may no longer be where I expected it, and that doesn’t mean it’s gone for good. I just have to move in a different direction.
This book has always reminded me that change is inevitable. We can stay stuck, waiting for things to go back to how they were, or we can get curious, shift our mindset, and start walking a new path. Growth happens when we stop fearing the unknown, push past the resistance, and move with it.
So, how do you know when it’s time to pivot?
And more importantly, how do you begin?
Here are the 5 reflection steps I have been using to assess and adapt:
Name the Wall.
What specific barrier keeps repeating itself? If it’s consistently blocking you, it may not be a detour; it may be a dead end, and that’s okay!!Check Your Why.
Is your goal aligned with your core values, or just an old version of what you thought you should do? Your “why” should evolve with you.Identify What's Still in Your Control.
You may not control external changes, but you can control your reaction. Look at what you can shift internally (your strategy, audience, message) to stay aligned.Test a New Route.
Explore smaller experiments: a different demographic, a new distribution method, or a partnership in a new sector. See where there's traction.Ask: What’s Possible Now?
The world may be closing one path, but what other doors are opening as a result? Don’t just mourn the losses, get curious about what’s next.
This is the mantra I repeat to myself when I feel paralyzed by the need to adapt:
It’s not rejection, it’s redirection.
The mantra serves as a reminder that when the door won’t reopen, I can carve out a new space. My path doesn’t end where the door closed.
Let this month be your permission slip to adapt. Life doesn’t always follow the blueprint you created. When things don’t work out the way you imagined, it doesn’t mean you failed or that you weren’t good enough. Most of the time, it has nothing to do with your capability. It’s just the gamble of life. Not everything goes according to plan.
And sometimes, the best chapters begin the moment you stop forcing the old plan, and start leaning into the possibility of a new one.
As Ross Geller once said:
Pivot. Pivot. Pivot.
