I was listening to my dad and brother talk about juggling multiple construction projects with tight deadlines, a limited workforce, and weather delays.
Yet, the signs were never rushed to sacrifice structural integrity. Instead, there were new approaches to complete the project, like putting in more hours and being honest about needing extensions. It was never an option to pretend it was polished while risking negative outcomes. It wasn’t about burning out to look efficient. It was about recalculating and finishing it right.
Something in my brain clicked. Storms don’t cancel or change the magnificence of a skyscraper. Instead, they extend the timelines or maybe cause a change in plans to meet the end goal. And, I realized how often I expected my life to look finished while I was still pouring concrete.
In that moment, I decided my life and work were never about how fast I get there. If that’s how I continued to approach it, I was rushing my own structural integrity. If I put myself in situations sacrificing who I have worked to become just to satisfy others, I cracked my own foundation. As a result, I was becoming an external expectation with nothing holding me up during a storm or on shaky ground. It took a long time to realize, but…
I want to be built to last, not impress.
Here are 5 rules I followed to embrace my own building.
Dust means you’re building. When the world feels messy within or outside of you, it’s part of your own construction. It’s in the shedding that you remove what doesn’t serve you to build a foundation and reinforce the beams holding you up. Dust is debris from demolition, proof that you are moving. A skyscraper was never built with clean floors. Not every goal is going to be the outcome. Sometimes when you smooth the edges, you realize it was never part of what you were meant to be.
Noise is part of the process. The tools assembling your foundation will be loud. If you cannot hear your own thoughts or focus with the noise, pause before continuing. When everyone’s opinions and voices are overshadowing your own, it is time to pause. Some noise is construction. Some noise is a distraction. Know the difference, because when you change and you start choosing you and your values, not everyone will accept your growth. Your growth isn’t the problem. The problem is following the noise over the direction you’re heading.
Inspections and reinforcement matter. Sometimes, you need to stop and inspect your progress. Is the direction you’re heading where you want to be? Is the structure sound? Are you building your own code, or someone else’s? You can reinforce your boundaries and behaviors to keep your integrity strong as many times as you need.
Demolition is not regression. You don’t need to pretend to be polished and keep building while cracks are happening and screws are coming loose. Construction sometimes requires you to go back and break apart to start again. Sometimes, you built it to please someone else. It’s better to start with who you are and want to be, rather than going in the direction that others expect to meet society’s milestone standards.
Delay is not failure. When you’re working on a project or figuring out who you are, you may not meet the timeline you envisioned for yourself. Timelines shift, integrity doesn’t. It means you’re still building. A magnificent skyscraper doesn’t appear overnight; it is built with structural integrity and purpose.
Stop calling it a failure when it’s construction. Stop apologizing for scaffolding. Stop rushing structural integrity. You’re under construction. We all are. We are building our future, our life, ourselves. And, you’ll feel most secure when your foundation is strong. If you need to knock it all to the ground to restart and rebuild according to your core values, grab your hammer, grab your bulldozer, grab what you need to demolish. It’s time to slowly turn into the magnificent skyscraper.
It’s time to build something that can withstand the storm.
